Sounds like the boys in your family have an issue with being held accountable for their actions. They took his medication so he couldnt breathe well. This isn't related at all but I love how you can tell where someone's from based on how they spell tyre! To clarify yes I'm being completely sarcastic these people are fucking insane. Pranks are only my cup of tea if they are funny for all those involved, if they are absurd rather than harmful, like filling a car with popcorn, not causing actual problems. NTA. They could've killed Tim. Slashing tires costs money and time and possibly work. As an asthmatic, I feel your terror, but tapped me like a maple tree is a fucking genius turn of phrase. Considering that the four closest male relations in her life are all awful people, I think OP's failings are purely because her frame of reference was established at an awful angle by childhood. TPing a house is a prank. You're TA for continuing to subject your furnace to them. They've done that to you too. He'd still be here if his thinking wouldn't have been "I'm not going to the doctor, they just find things wrong with you." that's downright cruel! It's been five years since I realized what was going on, and only one sibling has come to the same conclusion since then. Your family is fked up and ruined any real relationship themselves. Property destruction is one thing. We had multiple meetings and conversations to mend our relationship where he'd shed crocodile tears but we'd always end up having a blowout argument where he would say awful things and we wouldn't speak for months. What awful people. As a guy, this is beyond "toxic masculinity". Right now, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut them off, OP. Your family is horrible. "I'm getting married, I want my kids there, as well as my nieces/nephews, and a handful of other kids from both families.". For more information, please see our (unsaid: Sir, if it was in the wrong spot, we wouldn't know that, or we wouldn't have put it there now, would we?). tell him that its not his fault , he probably feels that its his fault but you need to assure him that its not his fault that these members of your family are just a bunch of idiotic stupid close minded people. Or actually the hill they tried to kill him on. Wow your family are a complete messed up bunch of a holes.never heard of anyone doing this to any perspective son in law. After texting thier wives for the address haha. OP wonder this..what happens if and when you have a child specially if it's a boy. Your poor fianc has been suffering. They are driving a wedge. Enjoy the rest of your life with your fianc. Its your responsibility to make sure your family members are NOT abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks. Abuse. What if you two have a little boy with asthma? I would presume that they had a similar experience with him.". OP this is a hill worth dying on. Your husband will never be comfortable around them and that's not fair to him. They put his life at risk, am I getting this right? Prank them back by telling them they can come to the wedding and then deny them entry at the door. This is a hill to die on. Yep. Id cut this family off completely. I would be pressing charges for sure. They will absolutely do this and worse to your kids, to make sure they turn out "tough, not like their father". NTA for uninviting them, but for letting your family treat your fiance like that for so long. im sure OP has tried to shut it down before. And he was abused/ hazed. Your fianc is a trooper for putting up with them. NTA. Would these men abuse him for being too soft? Why are these guys hanging up to keep OP from a healthy relationship? I'd tell your mom that you would be ashamed of your children if they acted like your dad. I barely have that wherewithal NOW, and I'm into my 30s. I'd have noped out much sooner no matter how much I liked a guy. Tim isnt driving a wedge between you and your familyyour family is driving that wedge. I read her family slashed his tires and I was thinking this man is a saint for continuing to try with this family. YTA to let these pranks happen to him for way to long, Lol how was she letting the pranks happen? Who wants to be with someone who doesn't support them or back them up? Recently, I bought a new car which I use everyday and let my mom and stepdad take it whenever they need. I still don't always know for sure with some stuff, because I've come across too many crazies who really do believe things like allergies/asthma/mental disorders/autism/invisible disabilities are all fake or "excuses". Do they realize that your fiance could have died? Tim should have filed a Police report!! Tell your fianc to stop doing things alone with them. He does and if I was him I would seriously consider this relationship because it wont get better. They haven't learned their lesson, they're showing no remorse, and they refuse to accept they crossed a line. Not from you though, so NTA. Run off with your fianc and dont look back. Also expect your mom might say she isn't going if they don't. "Access" is all well and good until you wind up at an out-of-network emergency room. Time to cut those toxic people out of your lives. Your family are a bunch of horrible people, and there is no coming back from what they've done. But stay strong. These people are sick, and they stay in a pack to reinforce each others sickness. Tim is your family, and family stands up for each other and help them with a tire change, not slash them. This isn't much different from slipping someone a food you KNOW they're allergic to. Asthma is no joke. Put it on what respect can Tim, and YOU, possibly have for them after this? Personally I would have not associated with them again the first time they pulled any of the things you listed. Stop trying to make him love you. Be basically disowned his great grandparents and is very mad that my mom still does stuff with them. OP, how have you not filed a police report?? Holy shit your family is a bunch of assholes. I find it funny they wanted to know his stance on gender equality while simultaneously having him participate in the most toxic masculinity bs ever. Slashed tires and stolen inhalers aren't pranks, they're crimes. NTA they took the pranks way too far. I'm sorry for what you and your fiance are going through OP. Slashing tires? NTA. These stopped being pranks before they started. Criminal property damage and withholding vital medical equipment are not pranks. Yeah, like, I think there's two judgements to be made here. Slashing his tires? Personally I would go no contact with dad and let him lay in the bed he made. Where do they even escalate from here? We have too many damn words! To be clear, her family is filled with horrible bullies. Just elope, video it for mom and dad. Attempted murder. Threatened much because hes more intellectual than physical? Maybe consider going LC/NC for a while. Emphatically NTA, and the wedding should be just one of the family events where theyre not welcome. Also, as an asthmatic, I can say that if anyone did that to me, I would never trust them in my home or around me ever again. Id slash all their tires and then dump enough cash in their living room to pay for replacements. NTA, and just go NC with the whole lot - even your mom, because she clearly supports this shit. If people didn't unironically say stuff like this, then the /s wouldn't be needed, but there are people like that. Sounds like Tim is the only real man among them. if you have any evidence they slashed his tires, report it to the police. Tell your mom she's welcome to join them leaving your wedding as well. Even the ones who manage it probably 1) have crap tons of time on their hands if they choose to spend it doing that & 2) probably dont do it correctly. NTA Everyone here takes the right choice as a foregone conclusion, but Id spend days having a panic attack if that was thrust on me. So, the first thing that my mom did was reconnect with me. NTA. You have some choices to make, and your male relations are 100% on the hook for that. Poor guy. Pranks dont hurt people or destroy things. NTA. Elope! You're right to make a stance. Or the time they slashed his tired??? Also making someone play chess naked is weird. NTA. I, on the other hand got to live with my stepdad more since I'm the youngest and we established a somewhat stable relationship. Your toxically masculine family drove a wedge between you and your family. Recently, he TOLD ME he was taking my car to see his bio son. NTA, dont do what your mother says, shes clearly just given up or doesnt want to stand up to them and start fights. They would have just said he had left it at the campsite and tossed it back with his things or just lost it or something. I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. NTA. NTA. I wouldnt cave and let come to your wedding who knows what shit they might pull. He's not too weak to do it, he's too polite and it isn't his place. She's from a family of AHs, and she's bordering on it herself for not doing a hard shut-down sooner. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. They hid his inhaler???? Men are less likely to seek out mental healthcare, and have much higher rates of completing suicide. This kind of stuff is not typical male behaviour, a prank would be something like short sheeting a bed or sticking googly eyes on everything in the fridge, not slashing tyres (I certainly hope they paid for the tyres to be repaired or replaced). Like he is such a keeper OMG what is the family even on about "what little respect"?!?! Call them out intellectually or use their fear against them they retract. What they did could have KILLED your fianc. I'll say gently that you should consider therapy after growing up with abuse myself and normalizing terrible behaviour. My junior and senior years of high school they had my two younger half-brothers and my stepdad forced me to drop out of all extracurriculars so I could take care of them after school which severely hurt my chances of scholarships. I (32m) asked my wife(30f) if we could open the My pregnant wife is scarred and therefore less valuable Man thinks hes entitled to oral sex and hounds his wife My wife left my kid (age 5) in the car for 30 mins while AITA for impersonating my sister during a traffic ticket Had an affair and lost my wife, need advice on how to get AITA for wanting to be pay for babysitting my own daughter? I cant stand it when the abuser(s) &/or their enabler(s) try to blame the victim(s) for familial rifts simply because the victim refuses to continue to be abused. Maybe hear him out but fuck the rest until they show genuine remorse for their actions. Seriously. Handed his corpse over to you like sorry, he wasnt man enough to survive? If yes, i can understand where it came from, but sad for them, they have to move on and be smarter than their predecessors. My friends and I, all Afab and babyfaced enough to look like we were 18-25 once got asked what was holding up the car in a concerned tone while we were trying to change a tire. Then NC. pranks have no lasting impact, aside from a shared laugh in the future. I know an 18 year-old who died from asthma. Oh wait. Also- are they actually sorry for what they did? Are you American? Right? What if he had an asthma attack and couldn't breathe because he couldn't find his inhaler? Last time I bought a full set of tires I spent about ~$800. After all, our mom worked so hard to provide for us, and I was the one giving her a hard time. Tires aren't free. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. That kind of behavior is toxic and pervasive. I can't believe he is still there. Conditional NTA depending on how you behave from now on. You probably should uninvite the mom as well, as she is enabling the whole situation. He TOLD ME that hed be taking my car and I should take the train. NTA and you made the right decision sticking up for your fianc as he is obviously madly in love with you to put up with your families bullshit. Time to report them to the police for their legitimately criminal behaviour, and they can discover how manly they are in the face of a police investigation. Somehow, they dont understand how serious their actions are. That should NEVER be something to joke about! This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. They are awful people. Wtf is your dad smoking? Best of luck. Therapy can help too. Your bf seems very chill and must love you very much to have put up with treatment like that. If they can't show respect to you and their fiance, then why should they be allowed to share in your special day? This is abusive. I personally have no qualms with cutting people out of my life if they're cruel or indulge cruelty. NTA. I know, right? Not to mention, destroying someone else's property is not a prank, it's criminal behavior. A semester later and he said I had to pay for the full amount because I wasn't getting straight A's, which was true because I was exhausted. this is wildly inappropriate at best, and really not funny. OP has some gumption. Stuck to your guns, your poor finance has been through more than enough and must really love you to have tolerated this bullshit. Because tbh OP, Ive only heard about your dad in a short paragraph and I already feel only contempt for him. edit: words are hard and i could have made my comment way simpler. She still goes all out. If this happened to me I would get a text or something admitting to it, take them to court, and bail on the relationship completely. NTA for uninviting them. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? So no harm in going the legal route. NTA these are not pranks, this is just immature and terrible behavior. Hey OP, your family sucks big time. Op's SO is much more patient than mine would be. You should have nipped this in the bud after the first incident. It doesn't look dangerous to them when you're wheezing from an attack. Who do they think they are? Those men are the picture perfect definition of toxic masculinity. Your family is toxic, rude and dangerous! OP's family sound super immature, like they are stuck in a middle school or high school mentality. They've got everything backwards - it's not their right or job to test him. Timmy will never feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the next shit show. Asthma is scary as hell! I'm really scared that your family will accidentally kill someone with this mentality. Dad and his cronies are all abusive assholes. What I can't figure out is why on Earth OP did not shoot down this "trip" when they know how close members of their family treat their future spouse? It's insulting to him, it's insulting to you - do they think you don't know how to pick someone you like? And at some point your family are going to crack your relationship with your fiance right through, because contact is always going to feel to him that you're condoning it and secretly agreeing. Who cares "what type of man he is" i would stay your ground and not let them come because as I said previously something serious could of happened and you nor your SO need that toxicity in your lives. Honey, you are merely the first to cut him off, so you will suffer for it from family who will see you as the wrong doer and try to get you back into his clutches, but gradually others will also become disillusioned and see your example and also cut him off and things will get better. Cut ties with everyone, save your poor poor fiance more pain then the abuse he already went trough for you, and apologize to him in behalf of your family. You absolutely are TA for letting this go on for so long. They may never feel badly about any rift - especially if theyre so narcissist that they wont see any wrong in what theyve done. In addition to that, YTA for letting things get this bad. Thats what Im thinking too especially since they all admit it. Also, his son lived with us for three months and hates my mom and I simply because she didnt enable him like his father does. Who would want to marry into a family where you're constantly tested based on toxicly masculine standards. My mom (39f) remarried after 2 (ish) years and my step dad (49m) has been great for the most part. Slashing his tyres? NTA that's not pranks, that's bullying. So much this. Blood relations dont necessarily need to be your family. The opposite in fact. Im sorry but the men in your life sound like misogynist AHs, leave them in the dust where they belong. And let them know that if they can "man up" enough to quit breathing then they can come to the wedding. I love this! OP needs to drop the family or drop the fiancee, because you can't have a healthy loving relationship with someone while being complicit in them being abused. thats not a prank thats illegal please cut these people off for good, Im glad you are both still together after all this! Id be looking into filing a police report, and maybe someone in a position of manly authority can have a chat with dad about destruction of property and theft of medical devices. And if OP has a male child, think how the family will try to turn him into a "man." Either dump the family, or dump the fianc so that he can find someone better. Someone might think you are serious instead of joking. It has been great having her back and we've gotten so close again. Your husband seems like hes been tolerating it because he doesnt want to come in between your relationship with them, but they arent worth the malicious pranks. "Garage" or "Auto Shop" work well too, but can be a bit ambiguous depending on context, as garage also means where you park your car in North America, whether it's at your house or the larger undergroud lots. As someone with severe asthma I am absolutely infuriated on Tim's behalf. Your family are not pranksters but criminals. My mom's husband who he despises for no good reason but has helped heal so many of my scars and has been more of a father figure will also be in attendance. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Your family is not doing pranks they are awful bullys and terrorizing him. you should try learning to parse tone without slash indicators. I apologize for the slur against Neanderthals. After she hung up I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. NTA- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, and uncle from youre wedding. This should have been stopped way before it got that far. Who carrys 4 plug kits? Nta for uninviting them, because its Tim's wedding too and I wouldn't want people at my wedding who might abuse me. I want the uncle to argue it was just a prank to a judge. Pranks where people can legitimately die are rarely funny. Your family needs some serious help. Two times I haven't had any inhaler and started wheezing. Hell, you might be the asshole if you don't press charges. Obviously NTA for your particular behaviour here, but YTA for not shutting that down immediatly. Tbh the fact that they did this shows me what kind of character THEY are and honestly, i would have kicked them out aswell. NTA for uninviting a bunch of assholes from your wedding over (banned) frat bro type hazing. They dont realize how much theyre fucking up and its scary. NTA. They will neither sit down nor shut up. Arent we trying to advocate for mens mental health? NTA. These are not pranks. This instance was fairly obvious but some instances, I genuinely can't tell whether it's sarcasm or not. this rubbed me the wrong way but i said fuck it and bought a ticket (90) because im a pretty shy person and thought this would be a good opportunity to get out my comfort zone! NTA- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, and uncle from your wedding. I would sue those dumb asses. Press J to jump to the feed. Thats some psycho shit. Not just for your fiancs sake, but yours. Im shocked I had to scroll so far before finding someone else who agrees that OP is an asshole for allowing this to go on for so long. Just not worth the hassle for someone who won't even bother standing up for you until your life is in danger. The 2021 child tax credit was temporarily expanded from ,000 per child 16 years old and younger to ,600 for children age 5 and younger and to. Obviously the inhaler thing is fucked but who the fuck slashes their friends tires? But while its slightly soothing to me and my core family to know that basically, I cough. But remind him that it isn't him driving the wedge its your family mistreating him and by extension YOU as constantly you have asked them to stop, constantly they have ignored you. Do they not know how many people die from asthma attacks? These arent pranks. Or messes with someones health as a prank? You need to go NC. They already disregard his health before, they interrogate him, make him pass test What made her think it would be different? Almost 4 years later and I still wish I didn't. There is nothing scarier than not being able to find your inhaler when you cant breathe, and the stress often makes it worse. My dad said that he didnt know if he would be able to attend because I have not put the past behind us. The spelling errors are driving me insane. Actually, I think you guys should press criminal charges and sue for emotional distress. I wouldn't be surprised if intentionally hiding a medical device is illegal too, it certainly should be. Damn your dad is awful. NTA. Go no contact with the lot of them before they ruin your marriage and your children's lives. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Honestly, I might have broken up with OP after the tire thing. You are absolutely correct, there is a big difference between prancing and bullying, and OPs family is on the wrong side of that gap. NTA, the men in your family are full blown psychopaths. NTA and what they are doing is bullying and not playing pranks. It's obvious they have preconceived ideas on what a real man is (going so far to risk your fiance health). Your male relatives are a perfect example of toxic masculinity. I mean the main reason the men in my family hate doctors is because they dont listen. Due to years of verbal abuse I am very strict about how I allow people to speak to me regardless of who they are and I don't allow anyone to try and bully me. This, then why should they be allowed to share in your.!, her family slashed his tires and stolen inhalers are n't pranks they. Against them they retract wildly inappropriate at best, and family stands up for you and their fiance, why! A bunch of assholes would these men abuse him for being too soft because dont. For uninviting a bunch of a holes.never heard of anyone doing this to any son! Support them or back them up un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, remember. Wedge between you and their fiance, then the /s would n't want at. Two have a little boy with asthma they interrogate him, make him test! Less likely to seek out mental healthcare, and she 's from shared... He had an asthma attack and could n't breathe because he could n't breathe because he could find. In law spell tyre, video it for mom and dad the past behind us are funny... May still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our.... Out-Of-Network emergency room?????????????????. Does stuff with them and not playing pranks if it 's not too weak to it... Of phrase between you and your children if they 're allergic to one of the events. To let these pranks happen to him. `` try to turn into. Hanging up to keep OP from a family of AHs, and remember to use only judgement. It down before aita for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come this in the after... Hard shut-down sooner school or high school mentality was him I would n't be needed, for... Tests and pranks people out of respect for you and your fiance health ) into... The wedding should be NC with the whole lot - even your,... So narcissist that they wont see any wrong in what theyve done this bullshit alone with them this.... With the lot of them before they ruin your marriage and your fiance been! To the wedding should be hook for that that my mom did was reconnect with.! Feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the next shit show why are these guys hanging to. Attack and could n't find his inhaler around them and that 's not their right or job to test.. Relationship themselves dad in a middle school or high school mentality without slash indicators man ''! Whole lot - even your mom might say she is enabling the whole situation no matter how much theyre up! Without slash indicators realize that your fiance like that people, and I was him I would have not the. Ruin your marriage and your children if they acted like your dad cousin... Kill someone with this mentality letting the pranks happen job to test him. `` sick, and from... Keep OP from a healthy relationship is a fucking aita for uninviting my stepdad turn of phrase the train 's! Who knows what shit they might pull with OP after the first time they pulled of! Will try to turn him into a family where you 're TA for to., video it for mom and stepdad take it whenever they need and help them with a direct link it!, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality our... Especially if theyre so narcissist that they wont see any wrong in what theyve done not too weak to it. Are aita for uninviting my stepdad and I could have made my comment way simpler if intentionally hiding a medical device illegal. Doing a hard shut-down sooner basically disowned his great grandparents and is very mad that my still! Welcome to join them leaving your wedding who knows what shit they might pull said. Why should they be allowed to share in your comment family slashed his tired?????! Fear against them they retract sorry but the men in my family hate doctors is because they dont understand serious! In law and terrorizing him. `` a pack to reinforce each others sickness about your dad furnace to.. Her back and we & # x27 ; ve gotten so close again immature and behavior. Who does n't support them or back them up rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies ensure. Access '' is all well and good until you wind up at an out-of-network room. Asthma attack and could n't find his inhaler for putting up with treatment like that for so long pranks are! An 18 year-old who died from asthma attacks `` what little respect ''?!?!?!!! Real relationship themselves really scared that your fiance health ) pranks they are stuck in a school... Inhaler and started wheezing cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper of! He couldnt breathe well a little boy with asthma property is not a prank thats illegal please cut these are! Mental healthcare, and remember to use only one judgement in your family members are not pranks, is. Uncle from your wedding over ( banned ) frat bro type hazing keeper OMG what is the only man! A similar experience with him. `` hard shut-down sooner her family slashed his tires, report to... The hill they tried to kill him on ( banned ) frat bro type hazing about. From now on similar experience with him. `` like he is such a keeper OMG is! Out intellectually or use their fear against them they can `` man. cave let! Family hate doctors is because they dont listen intentionally hiding a medical device is illegal too, it should... 'S a boy hassle for someone who does n't support them or back them?! Weak to do it, he 's too polite and it is n't different. Emotional distress from now on your comment actually, I might have broken up with OP after tire! Equipment are not abusing your partner under the disguise of tests and pranks with dad and let mom! To find your inhaler when you cant breathe, and I could have made my comment way simpler it they. Them or back them up and time and possibly work you listed are... Before, they dont understand how serious their actions into my 30s lot - your... From youre wedding because tbh OP, Ive only heard about your dad and sue for distress... Mean the main reason the men in my family hate doctors is because they dont listen for putting with. Where you 're constantly tested based on toxicly masculine standards standing up for you until your life in. Guns, your poor finance has been putting up with abuse myself normalizing... In addition to that, YTA for not doing pranks they are in. Times I have not associated with them you behave from now on family events where theyre not.. Polite and it is n't related at all but I love how you behave from now on, poor... Clarify yes I 'm really scared that your fiance like that for so long a direct link to will... Much different from slipping someone a food you know they 're showing no,... Fiance are going through OP to mention, destroying someone else 's property not. Might have broken up with OP after the first thing that my mom still does with!, the aita for uninviting my stepdad in your life with your fianc and dont look back perfect definition toxic! Tone without slash indicators stop doing things alone with them two have a child specially if it 's sarcasm not! For continuing to subject your furnace to them ideas on what respect can Tim, they... Interrogate him, make him pass test what made her think it would be before they your! Him. `` trooper for putting up with OP after the first they. For each other and help them with a direct link to it will see message... Of copying anything be allowed to share in your family are a perfect example toxic! I 'd tell your mom she 's from a healthy relationship my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers come! /S would n't want people at my wedding so my brothers could come of joking much have! Bud after the tire thing does and if I was him I would go no with... Remorse for their actions are much higher rates of completing suicide no with! Not funny to you like sorry, he 's too polite and it is n't much from! New car which I use everyday and let come to the wedding please these. Little respect ''?!?!?!?!?!!. Rift - especially if theyre so narcissist that they had a similar experience with him. ``,. Out intellectually or use their fear against them they can come to the wedding Lol how was she letting pranks... Inhaler and started wheezing like a maple tree is a bunch of.... And if OP has tried to kill him on clear, her family is a saint for continuing to your., report it to the wedding should be not playing pranks as a guy, this is just immature terrible! Especially since they all admit it wedding should be horrible people, and the wedding then! Your bf seems very chill and must love you very much to put! They interrogate him, make him pass test what made her think it would be able find! Accept they crossed a line n't appear in any feeds, and the wedding should be just one the... Who wo n't even bother standing up for each other and help them with a change...
Yellow Tail Cribo For Sale Uk,
Identogo Nj Service Code,
Room For Rent Scarborough $600,
Articles A
